oct 16 2009

Its tuesday. Its October 6th. Life has this sense of calmness to it right now. It could be perceived as such. That is not the case in so many ways though. Marriage is right around the corner. If it were a baby being born the head would be crowning. That close. And while the idea of marriage is overwhelmingly exciting the fact of no job looms overhead. The realizatiuon that another life is in my hands. The process of starting a family is in the works and thoughts of uneasiness creep in. Not doubt. Like taking a test. That feeling that you could still fail no matter how hard you had studied. That feeling. That no matter what I would fail for her. Its a tough feeling to overcome. Its overwhelming in the highest degree.
But I can look at her and spend time with her and know that my worries are meaningless. For some reason or another she loves me. I mean genuinely loves me. That is so relieving. To know that no matter how many times I fall short of fulfilling her desires, she will still be there. Its why I look forward to calling her my wife. My best friend. I honestly have no clue how I got her to give me a shot but she did and now she can’t get rid of me.

so this is the new year…

normally in years past i could finish that song with the proper lyrics and say that i dont feel any different. however this past year has been life changing for me. a quick review: received my AA, visited Costa Rica, oh yea and i proposed to charity. now fast forward to 2009. here is what i expect from this year

first thing is first. this is the year that i will become a married man. its an overwhelming and exciting thought. the idea of actually starting my own family is unreal. i feel like i struggle with my own little routine called life. nevertheless, i look forward to October 16th, 2009 and i know it will be here before i know it. 

another thing i expect from 2009 is to read at least 30 books. i used to consider myself a reader. but once i got to 6th grade  the books stop having illustrations. oh ryan you and your jokes. but for serious, 30 books will be read by myself. 

another thing i expect from 2009 is to watch the Gators win the national championship in just 7 days. staying with sports, the jaguars better not suck again or else i will say the same thing this time next year! 

i understand that these goals and expectations are somewhat trivial (except for that whole marrying thing). i have more goals and more expectations  but will save you the bore. i hope that everyone has a new year to remember. my biggest goal is to honestly walk in closer communion with God. i know that sounds so typical but it really is my desire. so i lift my chocolate milk to you and 2009! here here!