forgiveness?

i am encountering a rather difficult area in my life right now. it is not a concept i claim to struggle with or one that i have really dealt with quite like this. i understand the right things to say about this issue. i know the proper way to handle this. but never in my life have i felt so tried in this issue. understand that i already know i am no alone in my struggle. the concept is of true forgiveness.

see forgiveness or forgive is defined as “to stop a feeling of anger or resentment¬†towards someone or something”. i know this. you know this. yet, in my own situation i have been dealing with practicing true forgiveness. in my humanness i have been wanting to hold on to my anger and for good reason some might say. i have been holding on to the anger for sometime and could actually feel it burning inside me at times. i know the right way to handle this situation. forgive. but anyone who feels wronged knows that the concept is easier than the application. i sought out the counsel of people i respected and had more life experience in this situation. my father shared an interesting story to me that had nothing to do with actual forgiveness but still spoke volumes. ( why do parents do that? how do they know the right thing to say even if it is not what you want to hear?)¬†

i think it is something that the church struggles with today. that is why the world sees the church as a place where they will not be accepted for who they are. somehow in being Christ ambassadors we have missed out on representing Christ. not everyone that is for sure. i speak in general terms there because i am the chief sinner and failure of representing Christ. i was reminded of the story where the religious leaders took the prostitute out to stone her and then Jesus confronted the men. after some dialogue he said to them “let he who hath no sin cast the first stone” i am sorry but if you did not feel punched in the stomach something is wrong. too many times in my own life and in the life of the church we sit back and point out the flaws of others as if to make ourselves feel better about our own faults. i thank God that my sins are not held against me like i hold those of others against them. i pray that we as a body of believers will put an end to this perception that the church is a place where people have to change to be accepted. i pray the church begins to be more like what Christ intended. but i can not point the finger at a group when i myself am guilty of passing judgement. it must start with me and then maybe after i practice what i preach others will see what Christ like forgiveness truly looks like.