oct 16 2009
Its tuesday. Its October 6th. Life has this sense of calmness to it right now. It could be perceived as such. That is not the case in so many ways though. Marriage is right around the corner. If it were a baby being born the head would be crowning. That close. And while the idea of marriage is overwhelmingly exciting the fact of no job looms overhead. The realizatiuon that another life is in my hands. The process of starting a family is in the works and thoughts of uneasiness creep in. Not doubt. Like taking a test. That feeling that you could still fail no matter how hard you had studied. That feeling. That no matter what I would fail for her. Its a tough feeling to overcome. Its overwhelming in the highest degree.
But I can look at her and spend time with her and know that my worries are meaningless. For some reason or another she loves me. I mean genuinely loves me. That is so relieving. To know that no matter how many times I fall short of fulfilling her desires, she will still be there. Its why I look forward to calling her my wife. My best friend. I honestly have no clue how I got her to give me a shot but she did and now she can’t get rid of me.
a state of prayer
Over the last few days I have been involved in quite a few conversations about prayer. In the college ministry I attend, Adelphia Ministries, we had a discussion about what prayer is and how we use prayer. In my own devotions this week and recently I have thought quite a bit about my own prayer life.
Prayer has often been said to be our way of communicating to God. Our way to let God know the desire of our heart. This is true but we have done a poor job of truly understanding exactly how prayer should take place. For instance, we preach in our prayers. I know that too many times in my own prayer life I “preach” through m prayer cause i know that people are listening and i often times want to impress them. I also see prayer as an obligation. Im supposed to “pray without ceasing” so whenever I think about praying or i sit down to eat i say a word or two to God.
I had no idea that when i started to write this blog sometime last week God was emphasizing prayer to me so much because He knew how much i would be using it now. Circumstances this week have left me on my knees. I know that God has a plan and is in control of all things. I know this in my mind. But this does not comfort me right now. It just blurs things even more. I have found that my growing understanding of prayer has been a huge help to me this week. I have talked to God with a true desire for understanding. Prayer has helped me feel and know God in these hard times.
Do not neglect the importance of prayer.
“To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing” Martin Luther King Jr
a poem
oh sweet blue eyes
with love and grace,
take me away
from my pride and mistakes.
oh sweet tender touch
as you cling to the hand,
that longs to stay with you
to fight and to stand.
oh sweet blue eyes
with a stare drown the sorrows,
bring a promise of joy
and of better of promises
oh lips that speak truth
with love that changes worlds,
same lips that are loathed
for covering pearls
oh sweet blue eyes
my soul which you capture
today and tomorrow
for now and forever
another day another story
there has been a feeling of content in my life lately. sure many people would see this as a good thing. in fact, i am not convinced it is a bad thing but i have grown tired of the feeling. i have had many good things take place recently. Things such as family vacations, bachelor parties, upcoming trips to Washington DC and oh yea my own wedding. Life is good.
I have a program malfunction. God made a mistake in the whole “creation of Ryan” thing that took place. I leave God out when life is good. I find myself able to end up at the end of the day without having connected with Christ. I know enough to know I am not the only one guilty of this but I often times feel this way. I read today in Philippians and found myself growing resentful towards Paul’s spirit while in prison. How he seemed so close to God no matter what his circumstances. How is that type of connection even possible? What does that look like? I feel so inadequate sometimes.
I am encouraged though. I take comfort in knowing that God still loves me no matter what. No matter how I come to God when I am in need or when I take control of everything when I feel like life is going smooth. My name should be changed to Gomer because I have no clue of the love that God has for me while I am off chasing my temporary satisfactions. Is this how walking with Christ is meant to be? Some type of tug o war?
its time for a change
chien mang wang, starting pitcher of the New York Yankees, just called me and said he completely agreed with my new theory. Randy Johnson sent me a text saying the same. What do these two have in common? They both injured themselves while trying to hit in the National League.
For years now, since 1973, the American League has been using the position of Designated Hitter (DH) in place of the pitcher taking a bat in his hands. The rule was always controversial and thus remained active in the AL only but the NL continues to force pitchers to swing the bat. This rule must change. Not because AL offenses are more effective or because watching pitchers hit is often times like seeing a car accident. Its going to be ugly and you know you should turn your head but you have to watch the chaos. The reason the NL must adopt the DH position is because having pitchers hit is putting their careers at risk.
I decided to write my thoughts on the topic after watching 12 foot legend Randy Johnson strain his shoulder while swinging and according to some reports may have ended his career. Also, Chen meng Wang required season ending surgery last season while running to first during an Interleague game in Houston. After watching Wang pitch in 2009 i would say that the injury has had a dramatic effect on a once dominating sinker ball pitcher.
There is no longer any reason to go without the DH rule. It generates more offense which generates fans which generates revenue. The threat of ruining careers is no longer worth it. Lucky for baseball fans Randy Johnson started in the AL so that way fans could witness the career that was Randy Johnsons.
The Final Four
See what i mean
believe it or not the NBA has finally made it to the Conference Finals. it only took a month but they are finally here. in the west we have the L.A. Lakers versus the Denver Nuggets. And in the East we have the Cleveland Lebrons versus the Orlando Magic. I do not care about the West because my Mavericks are no longer alive. Thanks Eric Dampier.
Lets look at the east. The Cleveland Cavaliers have been forgettable so far this postseason because their series are over in four and won by more than 10 points each game. I would like to point out that both series took place between two teams that were garbage and completely overmatched. (Wonder if Dumars still likes dealing washed up Billups for Iverson) Lebron has devoured any opponent that attempts to slow him down. (Im debating capitalizing Lebron, He, Him, or any other reference made to Lebron because He has been divine so far) Doing what He did during the regular season but only better of distributing to shooters like West and Williams. Dishing off to Big Z and Verejao. and out rebounding everyone including Big Z. Lebron will play the Magic fresh off their 7 game series victory over that one team whom i hate as much as that team from San Antonio. The Magic offer the biggest challenge to the Lebrons making it to the Finals. It is easy to say that the Magic start with Dwight Howard but when i watch the Magic they go by Hedo Turkoglu. When the 6′10″ small forward brings his intensity and energy to the arena, watch out. he can drive to the basket and dish it off to Superman (6′11″) for a mans dunk or kick it out to 6′10″ Rashard Lewis for a three. This series is going to be epic in my opinion. The reason is because the Magic won the season series 2-1 against the Lebrons during the regular season including a blowout in Orlando in which the Magic were winning by 39 in the 3rd quarter. (ESPN carried that game and almost switched to Matthew Berry Fantasy Special but stayed out with their programming im sure of it) My take on the series is Magic win in 7. Their size and ability to disrupt Lebron will keep them close in every game and allow them to pull out the series and face…. the Lakers.
I would also like to take this moment and convince you to hate the team from Boston as much as i do. Consider this, Kevin Garnett is the scariest and ugliest man alive. They are the cockiest team ever and Paul Pierce seems to have forgotten that just 2 years ago he was the “captain” of one of the worst teams in recent memory.
the purpose…
i have been doing some thinking. dangerous. but still i went with those thoughts and talked to a few people about them to see the responses i would receive. i now want to see what the response of any reader who stumbles on this will be.
what is the purpose of the church? i understand that we can lay down some cookie cutter answer but give it some genuine thought. what is the purpose? the next question i have is do you see the church fulfilling that purpose now? why or why not? i would like to hear some responses before i lay out my very over thought answer.
alive?
i am alive but have been busy with life somehow. lazy with life as well. weird combination bt i seem to make to marriage work. let me know what you want to talk about. i have some issues and topics i like to talk about but want to hear what you guys, if there is any of you, want to read and talk about. so let me know
Jesus wept
Next Sunday is easter sunday. The day we are supposed to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. I was reading through Luke about the time in Jesus’ life between the triumphant entry and the crucifixion. One passage stood out to me more than any other. The reason is probably due to the fact that I have read right past this passage or never truly looked for the purpose of the passage. The passage is Luke 19:41-44.
In this passage Jesus goes to a place on the Mount of Olives where he is able to see all of Jerusalem. He begins to weep. The Word says He Wept. Now this is not the infamous John 11:35 “Jesus Wept.” This is another instance of Christ being broken. In this passage He looks over a city that has missed its Saviour. A city that was so full of itself that it missed out on its King, its Deliverer, and its Redeemer. He Wept.
I looked up the root of the word wept, which is weep, just to make sure I undertsood what was taking place. The Greek word used is klaio. This meant to weep bitterly, to bewail. Jesus is sobbing over the condition of Jerusalem. That hit me rather hard. Partly because I am not what you would consider emotional or sympathetic. I take no pride in this anymore as I used to. Plus, I rarely am broken by the spiritual condition of the world. Christ had a burden for people to know His love and His message, the Gospel of Christ. I have no such burden. In words most definitely but in action and true heart desire I can not claim to. So here Jesus is weeping.
I just wanted to write about this for some reason. I pray for myself that I become burdened for others the way Christ was. I pray that is the desire for the Church as well. I feel so ashamed to admit this because i claim to be part of the Body of Christ. We as a body and as individuals need to develop a passion to serve others and bring them to know the love of Christ. We are most like Christ when we are serving others.
the day of the fan…
i listen to a podcast by Bill Simmons weekly. Daily actually. recently he had an author by the name of Chuck Klosterman on his podcast and they discussed the death of the newspaper and what were the causes. Within this conversation Bill Simmons, the host, mentioned that fans are no longer as passionate as they used to be when he was growing up in the late 70s and 80s. i began to think as to whether or not i agreed with this statement and if so what were the causes.
My theory is this: fans are no longer as passionate about their teams as they were 20-25 years ago. i understand being that i am only 22 years of age i am at a disadvantage to judge 25 years ago. however, i must go by the events that i have seen on classic and events i have read or heard about to help in my judgement. so like i said fans today seem to be less passionate about every aspect of their specific team. whether its the spectacular one hand touchdown grab, alley hoop from half court, or the crucial sacrifice bunt that moved a runner into scoring position, fans have been trained to react.
this is where my cause for this lack of ultimate passion comes in. as i tried to say even though i rambled fans today are like puppets on a string. it takes the right play for them to show excitement. i have been to games where i could have sat in my sea the entire game and not felt out of place. and now for my theory……………………. drum roll please………… the cause for the lack of passion is ESPN. i understand that this is blasphemy. however, i believe it to be true and here is why. the instant highlight brings viewers the key plays of every major sporting event. i enjoy it. i am addicted to it. then there is the the top 10 plays of the night. these are all things that i look forward to and watch religously but they are the cause of the death of the true fan. never in my life hve i seen a sacrifice bunt in the top 10 plays of the night or the highlights for that specific game. you will never see a tim duncan 15′ bank shot as the top play after his team has won by 15. But you let Lebron dunk the ball and now you are in the top 5 plays of the night. even if his team loses that night. you let andruw jones hit a meaningless 3 run homer (when he was with the Braves) and that will be in the highlights of the game even though the Braves lost 11-4. My point is that fans have caught on to this. We now go to the game and look past the small yet significant plays and occurences of a game and cheer for the “sweetest dunk in the history of man”, or ” oh man he just got mossed”. i truly have no clue what this will accomplish. i just wanted to hear what other people have to think about fans and whether or not my theory is even close to being accurate or maybe im just reaching for something. let me know.
