Perception not always reality

Perception tends to be reality. Whether that is in the way you view someone or something. But how we perceive something to be is often times like looking at a shadow. Sometimes a shadow is a clear depiction of the real object. Sometimes a shadow can show the outline of a monster when it’s really a mouse depending on where the light shines from. The point being that sometimes what we see does not match up with what is. But why do we as humans, as friends, and family often times seem one way but are truly another? Why do believers fall into this trap?

It’s compelling when you really look at it. The concept of people not always being true to themselves and who they are. It is seen everyday in schools across the nation today. Kids are wearing things and saying things just for the benefit of social acceptance. It is what drives many of us. Whether we know it or not. “We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves.” French author Francois de la Rochelfoucauld. How many times have you really looked at yourself and evaluated if whether you were being true to yourself and who God created you to be?

I find myself in this situation and maybe you can relate: I am around person X and I find myself acting one way and saying these things and then I am with person Y and my persona is different as is my conversation. Why and is it wrong? There is a certain level of natural adaptation, I believe, that humans posses that allows themselves to feel comfortable in different environments. It’s natural. The problem with most people, myself as well, is that people compromise who they are. This is when “wearing masks” becomes a problem. This is when the person loses sight of who he/she truly is and who God has called them to be.

Compromise-the acceptance of standards that are lower than desirable. I think our problem is that we are honestly ignorant. Maybe I speak for myself. I know the reason I struggle with compromise is because I have failed to set high standards, lack a high degree of integrity, and honestly lose sight of who God has called me to be. It is extremely easy to compromise. It requires no effort at all. That is why we often times do that. That is why it feels so natural to act one way around one group around friends and a completely different way around another. But that should not be our standard. As a follower of Christ I truly understand that I have been called to a higher standard but like Peter I tend to take my eyes of Christ and begin to sink.

I want to encourage you to find who you are truly called to be. But I also hope that everyone can begin to shed the masks they wear and truly be who they are.I am tired of wearing masks and even feeling at times that I have to wear masks. I pray that I can drop the different identities I own and lose myself in Christ. There is no need to be someone else. I pray that when people see me they see Christ. I know I do a poor job of it but that is my prayer. And maybe more people will begin to do the same as a result.

UF/FSU…. The Rivalry?

Its 2006. Heralded backup freshman quarterback, Tim Tebow, fakes a handoff on the goaline then rolls out to his left. He stiff arms a defender and dives into the endzone for the first touchdown of his collegiate career. Everyone knows what has happened since. 135 TDs, SEC rushing TD record, 2 National Championships, 1 Heisman, 2 tackles, and 3 bible verses used under his eyes. He has changed the game in many ways and when his career is wrapped up officially in a little over a month, Tebow will be considered one of the greatest to ever play college football. Today is the last game for Tebow and the other seniors within the Swamp.

Florida State enters with a quarterback by the name of EJ Manuel. Today will be his 3rd career  start and his numbers (1-4 TD-INT ratio) entering today will have no one confusing him for Ponder ( 2-1 TD-INT). Not to mention that Ponder brought a sense of playmaking ability and leadership that Manuel has not been able to develop entering into todays game. Ponder was playing as good as any QB in the nation especially compared to the other QBs within the state of Florida. With the injury to Ponders shoulder, any chance FSU had to compete with UF seemed to disappear.

Florida is a heavy veteran led team and Florida State enters with a very young team. Florida enters undefeated and ranked number one in the country while Florida State just won their sixth game last week to become bowl eligible. After a fast and promising start to the season, Florida State has since waded in mediocrity. Today is senior day for Tebow. There are other seniors but the reality is that this day is all about Tebow. The emotions will be high and the atmosphere close to insane. Young FSU will have never played in something like this. Today should be a rout…

But FSU is bringing in an offense that is averaging 31.6 points per game. Averaging 437 yards per game and they are doing that with a balanced attack. 148 yards per game on the ground and 286 per game through the air. The problem is the defense. They are allowing 30 points per game to their opponents. Opposing offenses are gaining 434 yards through the air and on the ground against the FSU defense. So if they are to have any shot of pulling an upset their defense is going to need to step up the level of play.

Florida enters todays game with an offense averaging 36 points per game. Bringing in an average of 442 yards per game. (230 from the rush and 213 in the air). The difference is that the UF defense is giving up 9 points per game to their opponents. NINE! Thats definitely a product of a defense that returned 22 players from last years National Championship team.

With all that stats laid out there its obvious why UF is a 24 point favorite. Throw all the stats out though. Today is a rivalry game and when you play a rivalry game there is no telling what can happen. (Just ask Texas and Alabama)

Today will see a legendary coach, Bobby Bowden, enter the Swamp for possibly the last time. It will see a  rivalry renew, that no matter what the record of the teams that enter always brings hatred and passion. Today will see quite possibly the greatest college player finish his regular season career. Today will end with UF defeating FSU 41-17.

things to do

 

Thanksgiving is approaching. The majority of people begin to prepare for christmas. It is even taking place within my own house. I walk in late Tuesday night and feel like I had stepped within a gingerbread house. I really enjoy the christmas decor and all that comes with christmas. However, I typically refuse to acknowledge the nearness of christmas until after Thanksgiving. I have even talked Charity into not getting our tree until Friday. Thanksgiving is often times overlooked in the business created by the Christmas season.

I really liked the concept of reflecting on what you are thankful for, especially during this time. I had read some things people were posting on twitter and facebook stating the things in which they were thankful for. I began to think of some things and as thought progression took place I actually started to think of things that I want. Not necessarily in a “box under the tree” but along the lines of things I want to accomplish. (On a side note, marriage has brought many things into perspective for me. I hate it. I can no longer be content with spending my days sleeping, video games, and chocolate milk. Now I am forced to plan my future with someone else in mind. My days consist of school, school, and chocolate milk. I really enjoy this new perspective. Back to my main point) I began to think of some things that I want to do. It’s like a bucket list but I have no plans of dying soon so I would like to call it a “List of things I would like to do with my life”. It’s really catchy. These dreams instantly became more realistic just by voicing them and writing some down. Here are some.

-learn to play guitar -learn to speak spanish -maintain a commitment to writing -be a dad (down the road. seriously, way down the road) -attain a masters or two -attend a baseball game at Fenway, Yankee Stadium, and Wrigley -adopt a kid -travel to New York with Charity -be the friend and person that people feel they can call on for help at any time -grow a beard

Those are some things, in no specific order, that I would like to do. There are more but what i have found within the last few days is that by thinking about goals and my future i develop a different perspective. I encourage anyone and everyone to do the same and even share some if you like. Thanks for stopping by and letting me have a few minutes in your day.

 

oct 16 2009

Its tuesday. Its October 6th. Life has this sense of calmness to it right now. It could be perceived as such. That is not the case in so many ways though. Marriage is right around the corner. If it were a baby being born the head would be crowning. That close. And while the idea of marriage is overwhelmingly exciting the fact of no job looms overhead. The realizatiuon that another life is in my hands. The process of starting a family is in the works and thoughts of uneasiness creep in. Not doubt. Like taking a test. That feeling that you could still fail no matter how hard you had studied. That feeling. That no matter what I would fail for her. Its a tough feeling to overcome. Its overwhelming in the highest degree.
But I can look at her and spend time with her and know that my worries are meaningless. For some reason or another she loves me. I mean genuinely loves me. That is so relieving. To know that no matter how many times I fall short of fulfilling her desires, she will still be there. Its why I look forward to calling her my wife. My best friend. I honestly have no clue how I got her to give me a shot but she did and now she can’t get rid of me.

a state of prayer

Over the last few days I have been involved in quite a few conversations about prayer. In the college ministry I attend, Adelphia Ministries, we had a discussion about what prayer is and how we use prayer. In my own devotions this week and recently I have thought quite a bit about my own prayer life.

Prayer has often been said to be our way of communicating to God. Our way to let God know the desire of our heart. This is true but we have done a poor job of truly understanding exactly how prayer should take place. For instance, we preach in our prayers. I know that too many times in my own prayer life I “preach” through m prayer cause i know that people are listening and i often times want to impress them. I also see prayer as an obligation. Im supposed to “pray without ceasing” so whenever I think about praying or i sit down to eat i say a word or two to God.

I had no idea that when i started to write this blog sometime last week God was emphasizing prayer to me so much because He knew how much i would be using it now. Circumstances this week have left me on my knees. I know that God has a plan and is in control of all things. I know this in my mind. But this does not comfort me right now. It just blurs things even more. I have found that my growing understanding of prayer has been a huge help to me this week. I have talked to God with a true desire for understanding. Prayer has helped me feel and know God in these hard times.

Do not neglect the importance of prayer.

“To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing” Martin Luther King Jr

a poem

oh sweet blue eyes

with love and grace,

take me away

from my pride and mistakes.

oh sweet tender touch

as you cling to the hand,

that longs to stay with you

to fight and to stand.

oh sweet blue eyes

with a stare drown the sorrows,

bring a promise of joy

and of better tomorrows

oh lips that speak truth

with love that changes worlds,

same lips that are loathed

for covering pearls

oh sweet blue eyes

my soul which you capture

today and tomorrow

for now and forever

another day another story

there has been a feeling of content in my life lately. sure many people would see this as a good thing. in fact, i am not convinced it is a bad thing but i have grown tired of the feeling. i have had many good things take place recently. Things such as family vacations, bachelor parties, upcoming trips to Washington DC and oh yea my own wedding. Life is good.

I have a program malfunction. God made a mistake in the whole “creation of Ryan” thing that took place. I leave God out when life is good. I find myself able to end up at the end of the day without having connected with Christ. I know enough to know I am not the only one guilty of this but I often times feel this way. I read today in Philippians and found myself growing resentful towards Paul’s spirit while in prison. How he seemed so close to God no matter what his circumstances. How is that type of connection even possible? What does that look like? I feel so inadequate sometimes.

I am encouraged though. I take comfort in knowing that God still loves me no matter what. No matter how I come to God when I am in need or when I take control of everything when I feel like life is going smooth. My name should be changed to Gomer because I have no clue of the love that God has for me while I am off chasing my temporary satisfactions. Is this how walking with Christ is meant to be? Some type of tug o war?

its time for a change

chien mang wang, starting pitcher of the New York Yankees, just called me and said he completely agreed with my new theory. Randy Johnson sent me a text saying the same. What do these two have in common? They both injured themselves while trying to hit in the National League.

For years now, since 1973, the American League has been using the position of Designated Hitter (DH) in place of the pitcher taking a bat in his hands. The rule was always controversial and thus remained active in the AL only but the NL continues to force pitchers to swing the bat. This rule must change. Not because AL offenses are more effective or because watching pitchers hit is often times like seeing a car accident. Its going to be ugly and you know you should turn your head but you have to watch the chaos. The reason the NL must adopt the DH position is because having pitchers hit is putting their careers at risk.

I decided to write my thoughts on the topic after watching 12 foot legend Randy Johnson strain his shoulder while swinging and according to some reports may have ended his career. Also, Chen meng Wang required season ending surgery last season while running to first during an Interleague game in Houston. After watching Wang pitch in 2009 i would say that the injury has had a dramatic effect  on a once dominating sinker ball pitcher.

There is no longer any reason to go without the DH rule. It generates more offense which generates fans which generates revenue. The threat of ruining careers is no longer worth it. Lucky for baseball fans Randy Johnson started in the AL so that way fans could witness the career that was Randy Johnsons.

The Final Four

See what i mean

believe it or not the NBA has finally made it to the Conference Finals. it only took a month but they are finally here. in the west we have the L.A. Lakers versus the Denver Nuggets. And in the East we have the Cleveland Lebrons versus the Orlando Magic. I do not care about the West because my Mavericks are no longer alive. Thanks Eric Dampier.

Lets look at the east. The Cleveland Cavaliers have been forgettable so far this postseason because their series are over in four and won by more than 10 points each game. I would like to point out that both series took place between two teams that were garbage and completely overmatched.  (Wonder if Dumars still likes dealing washed up Billups for Iverson) Lebron has devoured any opponent that attempts to slow him down. (Im debating capitalizing Lebron, He, Him, or any other reference made to Lebron because He has been divine so far) Doing what He did during the regular season but only better of distributing to shooters like West and Williams. Dishing off to Big Z and Verejao. and out rebounding everyone including Big Z. Lebron will play the Magic fresh off their 7 game series victory over that one team whom i hate as much as that team from San Antonio. The Magic offer the biggest challenge to the Lebrons making it to the Finals. It is easy to say that the  Magic start with Dwight Howard but when i watch the Magic they go by Hedo Turkoglu. When the 6′10″ small forward brings his intensity and energy to the arena, watch out. he can drive to the basket and dish it off to Superman (6′11″) for a mans dunk or kick it out to 6′10″ Rashard Lewis for a three. This series is going to be epic in my opinion. The reason is because the Magic won the season series 2-1 against the Lebrons during the regular season including a blowout in Orlando in which the Magic were winning by 39 in the 3rd quarter. (ESPN carried that game and almost switched to Matthew Berry Fantasy Special but stayed out with their programming im sure of it) My take on the series is Magic win in 7. Their size and ability to disrupt Lebron will keep them close in every game and allow them to pull out the series and face…. the Lakers.

I would also like to take this moment and convince you to hate the team from Boston as much as i do. Consider this, Kevin Garnett is the scariest and ugliest man alive. They are the cockiest team ever and Paul Pierce seems to have forgotten that just 2 years ago he was the “captain” of one of the worst teams in recent memory.

the purpose…

i have been doing some thinking. dangerous. but still i went with those thoughts and talked to a few people about them to see the responses i would receive. i now want to see what the response of any reader who stumbles on this will be.

what is the purpose of the church? i understand that we can lay down some cookie cutter answer but give it some genuine thought. what is the purpose? the next question i have is do you see the church fulfilling that purpose now? why or why not? i would like to hear some responses before i lay out my very over thought answer.